He's D.I.Y.'d washed up and dried
And fixed that leaking tap
He's mowed the lawn and cut the hedge
And even had a crap
He's read three books on better Bridge
Whilst fixing faulty fuses
He thinks things through so carefully
Excepting when he loses!
Then he's like a lunatic
Wild eyed and don't you dare
As much as question that last card
Keep your head down and Beware!
If Sir is rattled, then look out
He suffers no fool gladly
And because he's fair that includes him
So I suffer when he's playing badly!
But Peter Perfect can't be changed
The years have failed to alter
His quest for reason and fair play
In that he will not falter,
Nor does his mood when in his mind
The balance is not quite right...
"Hey! Sometimes we win, sometimes we lose
Who really gives a shite?
It's playing games and having fun
And learning Bridge together."
"Fuck off! It's not, you stupid prick
It's winning - come whatever!!"
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